Again....Its happened..and its really hurt...:'(

Can't imagine how I feel when it happened again..I'm so sad..feeling down and everything looks like bad to me...arghh..I need my own baby, my own children but why Allah give the chance only a months to me?? why??

I'm feeling down right now..last 2 week i've been miscarriage and i can't accept it for good! There's is no reasons why it happened again for the second time! I cant accept the fate! Out of me, everybody can see that I can still giving a smile but inside..nobody knows..I'm crying! I'm crying when see my friens holds their babies, I'm crying when see mothers feed their childrens and I'm crying when see the pictures of new born babies..ooohhh...please help me Allah...Yes! I am redha..but till when?? I'm redha but I'm still hoping..still sabar.

On 10th October 2013, I've been through TCA in Malacca General Hospital.  I can't imagine my feelings when i was in the operation room.  I just "berserah"! Its true, i doesnt fell sick at all, just let the doctors do their jobs... 6 doctors and 1 patient, i feel like i'm the experiements stuff. I'm sick and tired of this! sometimes i feel like I want to end this forever! Ok enough! You have to stop this Duhah, you are a murder, Ok let your husband find someone else that can give him a baby..and yet I've told him about what I feel, but my husband says.."sayang...its ok for me if Allah does'nt give a chance to me to become a father in Dunia..but I'm sure that our childrens have waiting us in Jannah".  Suddenly I'm crying again..yes..I admit...I have a childrens in Jannah..

Agstarfirullah Al-Azim...Ya allah..ampunkan dosa hambamu ini kerana berasa sangat sedih dengan ujianmu... now and on..we have to be happy eventhough we not a parents dear..we have to corncentrate to what we had now! yes..be happy with my lovely husband and families mamber..ignore what publics says to us, what so important here is making our life happy..so happy..and happy...